10 things I look for in a partner

You keep asking so I'm spilling the tea.

1. They Have A Sense of Humor

It doesn’t have to be the BEST humor. I’ll take silly puns too. But I love when someone can laugh at themselves, and with me….because I like to think I’m funny, and I love to laugh. It makes the best of times better and the worst of times lighter. Give me contagious giggles, kitchen dance moves, and inside jokes that live forever.

2. They are my Biggest Cheerleader, and Loving Challenger.

They’re proud of me and what I do. They hype me up and tell people about my cartoon empire. They are the Travis to my Taylor. The Adam Brody (Noah) to my Kristen Bell (Joanne).

But they also challenge me to grow, lovingly call me out, and say “babe… really?” when I’m being a gremlin.

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3. They Actually Like Women

This may seem like a silly point. But I believe there are men who desire women, who can love women, even commit to them…but who don’t respect women.

What do you mean, Jess!?!? Thanks for asking. These are the men who interrupt women, talk over them at the dinner table, or dismiss their ideas. The ones who only chat with the other men at the party but don’t engage with your girlfriends. The ones who can’t imagine why you’d want to be friends with another man (CONTROVERSIAL POINT!), because people of the opposite gender are for one thing only.

Nah. Give me the men who see women as something other than only to be desired.

4. They Actively Create Their Life

Life hasn’t just happened to this person. They’ve made active choices to pivot, grow, explore, and evolve. That kind of agency is magnetic to me.

It shows up in big life choices and in the little things—like booking the date, making the plan, arranging the Uber.